Disappointment

I’ve done a lot of thinking lately and I’m starting to realize what this bad feeling I have is and is not about. It’s not about me being happy… for the most part I was happy before, I was happy during and now, I’m happy after. It’s not about me being a failure… I’ve not been successful at everything I’ve done in the past and I don’t expect to be successful at everything I do in the future although I will continue to try. It’s not about loss either… People are always going to come and go in and out of your life for one reason or another by their choice or by yours. That’s just how things are. I’m thinking this is more about my disappointment in people’s attitudes and how they treat each other. There is nothing wrong with taking care of your own needs and wants… looking out for number one as they say. But when the things you do and say to get what you want start to come at the expense of others… well. Everyone you’ve ever met, everything you’ve ever done, everywhere you’ve ever been, every second of your existence has gone into making you the person you are at this very moment in time. Some things have had a positive effect on your life and some things have had a negative effect on your life. All these things together as a whole have gone into shaping your character as a person. Hopefully over time you’ve learned to distinguish between the good and the bad and are using all your experiences to your advantage. It seems the people who are acting mean and cruel towards others just haven’t figured out the differences… yet. Maybe they can't figure the differences out by themselves. Although they may appear to be, I don’t think anyone is pure evil. For whatever reason they just continue to do things to make themselves miserable. For them to feel good or equal, if only for a very short period of time, they may do things to make everyone around them as miserable as they are... and then later wish they could take it all back and may even sometimes try to take it back. I would hate to look back late in life and realize that I had spent a lot of the short period of time I have here being miserable… but it’s happening to a lot more people than you realize. Somebody in your family, somebody you work with, maybe even somebody in the same room with you right now. The saddest part is that a lot of people deny that there is anything wrong and therefore in their minds, nothing needs to be changed. In these cases, there is nothing you can do to help them. It usually takes a crash and burn event for them to realize what’s going on. Sometimes it’s a lifesaver and sometimes that event happens much too late or is much too severe for them to recover from. Always remember that no matter how bad things get for you personally, there is always somebody out there that for whatever reason is more fragile or is hurting much worse than you are. Regardless of where you are in your life right now, think about the other person. No matter how much you want it to be… it’s not always about you.